Turning guilt into inspiration

 

Why do so many Christians feel so guilty all the time? I'm not talking about real guilt for deliberate sins, I'm talking about residual guilt. The low-hum of regret that constantly intrudes on your thoughts. The background radiation of your life that won't stop setting off your mental Geiger counter. 

And what do we feel guilty for? That we aren't doing enough spiritually. That we indulge in too many frivolous wastes of time or flights of fancy. That we aren't living up to some lofty standard as a partner or parent. That we work too much, or not enough, or not the right kind of work. Or whatever other nagging, exhausting thought you have rattling around in your head all day.

I would love to offer a simple explanation and solution for this. I'd love to just be able to say something that would assuage your fears, bolster your confidence, and dispel your guilt. Unfortunately, guilt is a complicated subject, and it would be too easy and pat to just say "ignore it” or "you have nothing to be guilty for.” 

The sad truth is, the nagging sense of guilt you feel could very well point to some real problems in your life. If your conscience is trying to tell you something, it's important to listen. 

At the same time though, it's also easy to feel guilt for things that are beyond your control, or is in disproportion to what you deserve. The important thing is learning to tell the difference between those times when your conscience is telling you that you need to correct something that is wrong in your life, and the times when it's just saying you could do better.

Examine what kind of guilt you feel. In some cases, a low-hum of guilt can mask the presence of a more pressing issue that you need to address. Maybe there really is something in your life that you know is wrong and need to repent for, some behavior that you need to change. Don't try to drown out your conscience, instead, tune into it and try to figure out what message its trying to send.

If you know you are committing a sin that is damaging your relationship with God, you need to do something about it. David understood exactly how draining and corrosive guilt could be to the spirit, and the revitalizing effects of confession and redemption, as he wrote in Psalm 32:3 -

"When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

When your guilt is not founded on a particular sin or act, but a general sense of failure or inadequacy, things get more complicated. Nobody will ever feel like the perfect Christian, husband, wife, or parent. There are always going to be times when you secretly worry that you don't measure up, that you're letting yourself, your family, or even God down.

When left alone and unaddressed, that kind of feeling can become an anchor around your neck. A dragging weight that sucks the joy out of your days and diminishes your actual accomplishments. I truly believe that God did not put us on this Earth just so we could feel miserable and inadequate all the time. He wants us to live full, happy, and productive lives that celebrate his creation.

If you're feeling guilty about not doing enough, or not living up to your potential, do something about it. Use that feeling to motivate you rather than to punish you. Look for ways that you can improve, things you could do to give more to the community, your family, or your church. Use that feeling in a positive way to strive to live up to your personal best, and not some artificial or unreachable standard.

Finally, recognize when you have done your best and accept yourself. No one person can do it all, and no matter what you do, there will never be a time when you look at yourself in the mirror and think "yup, I'm done, I am the perfect man/woman.” You need to know when to let go, give yourself some credit, and realize that while you might not be perfect, you did your honest best. 

Your job isn't to "finish” yourself as a human being. You're not supposed to reach some lofty state where there is no room for improvement or refinement. All God asks is that you do what you can, and leave the rest to him. As it says in Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”