What does Fellowship mean to you?

I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but for a long time when I heard the world "fellowship” I didn't exactly picture a great time. Fellowship was a one of the go-to words in the Church I grew up in. It was a phrase the deacon who did the weekly introduction would hit on almost every Sunday. He would always say how "good it is for all of us to be gathered together in fellowship today,” or talk about how "crucial fellowship is to the Christian life.”

Mostly, I fidgeted with my little tie, trying desperately to catch a good gulp of air in the stuffy, overheated, and over-perfumed chapel. 

For a long time, I associated the word fellowship with ill-fitting suits I got as hand-me-downs from my brother. With sitting up straight in an uncomfortable pew so I wouldn't attract attention from scowling old ladies. With waiting in the parking lot, sizzling under the sun while my mom's Church group meeting seemed to go on and on.

For years, fellowship got a bad rap in my life. It got to be around my teenage years, I decided that maybe it wasn't something I needed in my life at all. That I had a strong relationship with the Lord and didn't see the point of going to some big group meeting every week, especially when it made me dress, act, and behave differently from my regular life. Why go through something that felt more like putting on a performance for the benefit of others, when I wasn't gaining anything spiritual for all the effort?

I was wrong of course. I'd come to regret that choice over the years as I felt more and more disconnected from the Lord and adrift in my own life. 

As Christians, we all need fellowship whether we know it or not (or, like some stubborn idiots, want to admit it). But, it's up to us to define what fellowship means. Fellowship should be when Christian brothers and sisters gather together to celebrate the Lord and support each other in a way that nourishes the spirit, not some kind of dreaded weekly chore. 

As Christians, we need to open up our definitions of fellowship, to welcome and embrace each other without feeling like we need to put on airs of perfection or perform to certain expectations. The Church should feel more like an old friend's house where you are welcomed and loved, and less like a restaurant with a dress-code where the maître d' is giving you the eyeball.

The goal of fellowship should be to spread the word of the Lord. To support our brothers and sisters, take on each other's burdens together, and unite us in the Holy Spirit. It should be about building each other up and welcoming more to join. 

Because the truth is, we can't go it alone. As much as you might believe you're a proud lone wolf who doesn't need to bother with weekly fellowship, sooner or later, life is going to come along and prove otherwise. You're going to stumble in your walk with Christ, you're going to feel cut-off from God, alone in the world. Without a strong Christian family to lean on, you might fall, and fall hard.

But how do we do it? How do we make the change? Start with yourself. Be the fellowship you want to see in your Church. 

Put away your judgments, your desire for status, knock it off with the cliquish behaviour and pettiness that can turn fellowship into some sort of social gauntlet. Focus on just being there for your Christian family. Make your fellowship a fellowship where people can come together and laugh, cry, comfort, and bond with each other the way it was meant to be.

Define what fellowship means to you, and live that truth.